Transformed Heart

This past week, I spent my time in Matagalpa, Nicaragua; where a team from Grace Community Church from Greenville South Carolina worked in the community. I was very blessed and felt God’s presence working out everything perfectly. Us as humans think we will have everything under control and we might even try to take control when things don’t seem to be going the way WE planned or want. I have learned that no matter who can’t come or what can’t be done; God is in total control. For example I was planning on seeing about 150 patients in three and a half days but ended up seeing over 250. God worked everything out so perfectly! It seems like a tragedy when things don’t go our way, but in Romans 8:28 I am always reminded that “God works for the good of those who love him according to his purpose.” I am always reminded of his amazing Grace and Majesty when I find myself looking for my own strength and at the end of the day realizing it was only Him who got me through and who was able to see me through to finish the work set before me. I am so blessed and blown away by the people who were touched and what was done during this trip. I even was able to pray in Spanish for about 15 minutes with a woman of the church we worked with while we were finishing up our worship time on Wednesday night. I became great friends with her and her daughter was my favorite. The kids here have captured my heart and I don’t want to take that away from them. Whenever I get the chance, I just pour out my love, hugs, and kisses to the children who come looking. I know when people from Nicaragua first see Americans; they think, “They are dangerous, powerful, scary people.” Some don’t, but this week we as a group received a letter from a pastor that said just that. We come to a place attempting to show love and compassion, but until these people get to see us in action and working together for God’s glory, they see us as dangerous. I was blown away and kind of broken by this thought because of course, groups only want to make a lasting impression and not impose nightmares upon these people. I was surprised that by the end of this information given, the Nicaraguan who had written this letter asked for an apology because he knew we only came with good intentions and his interpretations and perspectives were skewed. I learned a lot about myself on this trip and learned that I am insufficient and worth nothing without God and the Holy Spirit alive within me. I had some mixed feelings going into this trip and wasn’t sure what to expect. I sure didn’t expect to be one of two people seeing patients and I didn’t expect to have someone from the pharmacy to be missing in the afternoon to cover up for a woman unable to come because of reoccurring migraines. I could never possibly fathom what God was doing when all these occurrences happened. He already knew from the very beginning how he would knit this team together and how he would allow us to function as best we could. There were some ups and downs and there were many things I thought would fall to pieces, but right before they hit the ground with a crash, God picked them up to allow glory and honor to be given to Him. I was blown away time after time when God picked things up that I thought would be disastrous. I also learned that my attitude needs to remain calm and positive going into hectic weeks that I will be away from my comforts in Managua and my home. I was going into this week with expectations that were not glorifying to God and honestly, I was wrong with my thoughts. I was quickly taught that not my desires or my expectations, but His would be done in ALL things. This was the same place and hotel we went to last time with a group and I ended up being sick. I was very cautious with all things brought to my mouth to consume this time and had a little bloating and constipation, but I am convinced it is what comes with being a missionary. Thank God, I didn't end up sick like I was last time and I was able to work effectively and efficiently through the whole week. This group brought three different groups down to Nicaragua. They had a pastors teaching group that taught two different groups of people. Pastors from all over Matagalpa Nicaragua came and the women learned of a book presented from Grace Church titled “Ezer” and the men learned a series of roundtable discussions and lessons from two men from Grace Church. They also brought some teachers down to team up with NCA (Nicaragua Christian Academy) in Matagalpa and head over there for the day to help or assist the teachers there with planning and seeing the way they run their school. There was a lot done and it was a blessing to hear from the two different teams I was unable to participate in. The last team they brought down was at the local church we partnered with and we set up a clinic in the church and the children were entertained with games by two group members. Some local church members were helping us with getting sheets filled out with the patients’ basic information and we had two people from our group working triage as well. The local church members also had an evangelical section where people would go after their consult with the doctor to talk about their faith. We had two people (an ER doctor and myself) seeing patients and about 4 or 5 people working in the pharmacy filling prescriptions. We saw over 511 patients in three and a half days, 39 people accepted Christ, 44 people re-dedicated their life to Jesus, and 1,935 prescriptions were filled. So just think about the huge party that went on in heaven this past week! You may think; “wow, these people accept Jesus and then go on their way”, but your wrong; they get contacted from the church and invited to all services held during a week. They aren’t abandoned like they were before they accepted Jesus into their lives; they are treated as his beloved and cherished children. They are now adopted sons and daughters like all of us who know Christ. It was a great time to wrap up my last week of working for CFCI. I got to see some old friends and make new ones with the group that came and it was a great week because it was just after my birthday! I had my dream come true; eating Chic-fil-A on Nicaraguan soil! There was a promise made long ago that was actually followed through with; I got my chicken sandwich after about 72 hours. I put it in the microwave; added a little ranch and some pickles and its like nothing you would ever expect! It was a glorious lunch the day I left for Matagalpa. I leave next week on Tuesday to spend a week of relaxation and unwinding with my mom and my aunt Gloria. I am so excited to travel the country of Costa Rica with them both and very excited to make another trip there. While I am there, I will visit the base there and get a tour of the place there with the nurse currently serving there for CFCI-Costa Rica. I am so excited to see how God guides me and speaks to me on this trip about my next chapter in life I am getting ready to open and where he wants me. I am also using this time to re-think my last ten and a half months spent here in Nicaragua and what I learned and how to better comprehend myself as a changed person, and what to expect when I return to the United States. I expect myself to be very emotionally unstable like I was when I first arrived here because I was not in my comfort zone. After almost a year of adapting and learning a different culture than your native one, it becomes very comfortable and adapting like I have has taught me that not only the United States culture is fitting for myself. I can easily adapt and fit in wherever I need to. I am so touched by the people, places, and things I have learned while here. It has surely humbled my thoughts, calmed my spirit, and transformed my heart like nothing I could have even dreamed. I have felt touched and protected by God during the whole time I have spent in Nicaragua. These brigades and trips just remind me how grand and powerful our God is and how many brothers and sisters in Christ I have all around the world waiting for the gospel and love of God to be poured out into their souls and onto their lives. I please ask you to be praying for the people of Matagalpa and the group from Grace Community Church as they return to the States. I know transitions must be hard and I am about to experience my own, so I will see how it all goes personally. But please also keep my mother, my aunt, and myself in your prayers as we venture across Costa Rica for my last “hoorah”. I am planning on writing one more time before I return to the states, but if it doesn’t happen, don’t say I didn’t warn you ;) I hope this finds you all well and thank you for partnering with me during this chapter in my life. I have loved most moments and will never forget how God has transformed my heart. I will honestly try to live by the changes that have taken place and I will also need prayer with that. I know that going back into a culture so easily distracted by the things of this world, it is easy to “slip” back into my old way of things. I am praying for strength from God and asking him to place people around me who will only lift me up and I ask you to do the same for me.

I will miss....

I have decided to bring to all you faithful readers about what God has taught me since I have been here through those things, which I will miss. You may think this is soon considering I have roughly two months here, but it has been so strong on my heart and in my head that I feel compelled to write it. I thank you all for supporting me through this time and keeping me in your prayers. I have felt protected by the power of the Holy Spirit ever since I arrived and believe it is because He obviously lives in me, but because my church body and friends believed in me and showed that through prayer and words of encouragement since I have been here. But let me start with simple and bring you to complex with those things that I will miss. I will miss walking down the dirt rock covered road to work every day and seeing odd ends of children’s toys, crushed mango seeds covered in dirt, and children standing outside in their diapers and tennis shoes waving to me. God has taught me that Nicaraguans spend TIME enjoying what they have. They spend TIME with those they love, and this is why many families (cousins, grandparents, uncles, and aunts) all live within walking distance of one another and visit one another daily. What a great image of family and love these people have displayed for me. I live with one family here, but My Nica grandmother lives one block away and my Nica aunt lives about five houses down from her. I work at the clinic with Dr. Bayardo and his mother lives right across the street. This is so typical and normal here; I wish it would be something practiced in the states. I feel like providing for ourselves and our immediate family has taken over importance of many lives and minds that extended family is nice to see every once in a while or whenever money allows to travel to visit. I have been praying that God can adjust my heart and my mind to easily walk back into the states and be comfortable with how I used to live before Nicaragua and that the adjustment to being back will be smooth and without losing too many tears. I will miss the church services where it doesn’t matter when your clapping or how off key your singing voice is because people are just giving their all and everything to praise our Worthy King. In the states I feel like if your clapping off beat in church, you’re an annoyance or looked at as ignorant to the beauty of music and how it “should be”. God created music and the beauty of it is that He gave us all different ways of how to worship Him and what we all feel as appropriate is acceptable and appreciated in His eyes. I will miss praying over patients in the clinic and being able to proclaim my faith to them. In the states, you are not able to open up about your religion unless asked while working in the hospital. I think pretty soon any external expression of faith in God will be pushed away and the government is currently trying to ban it in many areas where it once was normality. I will miss my little nephew coming in my room to say “Hola Melissa. Que estas haciendo?” This means Hello Melissa. What are you doing? I always welcome his presence and love his inquiring questions and answer him with the simple truth. Some of you may have experienced this over Skype or Face Time. The simplicity of a child’s faith and inquiring is what I desire to be like with God and just ask him simply, “God, what are you doing in my life? What will happen next? Why is this person in my life?” and simply wait and listen to his response. I believe God wants us to be like children and just ask him, but also be willing to listen. God desires this kind of relationship with all his children and I alluded to this in a past blog. I will miss seeing the little eyes of a young boy who can barely see over the ledge of the pharmacy to ask for medicine for his grandmother at home. His mouth is covered and so his voice is barely audible, but he comes weekly, so I know what he is asking for. His eyes immediately melt my heart and this is common with children of Nicaragua. Their eyes literally tell their story. I could look at one child and see the delight and the pain all in one instant gazing into their eyes. Some stories have been told to me and others I have witnessed first hand. Some children are left to take care of other siblings because the parents have neglected them or left them to work and look to provide whatever food they can find to feed their family. Some children don’t even get the opportunity to go to school because the parents force them to work on the streets and beg for money outside of cars at busy intersections. God has taught me that no matter what the circumstances or reasons are behind these children having stories like these, that each one is precious in His eyes and deserves to be loved unconditionally. I have felt privileged to show my love to these kids and picking them up and holding them and playing with them whenever I get the chance. My favorite thing is when they first inspect me and check me out with their timid eyes because they haven’t seen anyone with my color hair or my light complexion before. They then see my smile and my hand waving assuring them I want to play or just sit and watch and then they lighten up and are a huge bundle of joy willing to accept the love I desire to give. I will miss hearing the hustle and bustle of the city life right outside my house. I live in the “country side “where I come from in Florida and have to drive ten minutes into town to get any kind of “city” interaction. Immediately out my front door of my Nica house is the street busy and filled with people walking their children to school, going to work, taxi’s looking for work. It may seem overwhelming and busy, but I love it! God has taught me that cultures are different and has allowed me to understand and accept this as a different lifestyle and embrace it for what its worth. I have also enjoyed my visits to places like I recently went where town was only within reach on a twenty-minute car ride and the quietness of the countryside as the town goes to sleep at night. I am reassured I still have my country roots within me as I enjoy the simplicity of crickets and geckos filling up the night with their chirps and enjoying the rooster that crows at five o’clock in the morning to wake me up. This happened for one week of my trip, but I loved every second. I will miss my lunchtime meal at the clinic and having conversations with those co-workers I have come to love and have developed relationships with that will forever be close to my heart. I never thought the people at the clinic liked me, but it took me a while to approach them and get to know them before they opened up and talked to me like friends. The Nica people accept “gringos” (white people), but also inspect us and question our motives. I am sure my coworkers were wondering what on the earth I was doing in this clinic and why I would volunteer a year of my life for this clinic when the salary made by an RN in the states doubles and sometimes triples that of a doctor’s in Nicaragua. I will miss being able to exercise at my house on the back porch in the coolness of night. There is a breeze that cools my body down from the intense and strenuous exercise I put myself through. I love being able to do exercises in the comfort of my home because in the states it is almost impossible unless you have money to buy a room and fill with machines or things simply dedicated to fitness. But one of the things I have loved most about Nicaragua is the time spent at home and in the presence of your family. I will miss riding the bus to and from work. I got stared at everyday like a stranger but I enjoyed being looked at because God taught me that through these stares and glares, it brought some people to ask questions and then I was able to share my faith. At first, I didn’t want any interaction on the bus because everyone I work with made it seem like everyone who steps foot onto a bus gets robbed. I have had scares here and there, but I know God has sent his guardian angles to protect and watch over me while I am here because I am in His perfect will and listened to His voice. Of course, it has crossed my mind to ride the county busses at home and I still might give it a try, just to save gas money and compare it to the busses here. I am a very observant person and would love to see the similarities or differences of the city bus at home and compare and contrast it with the one here. God has opened my mind up to experimentation and allowed me to express my love for him more freely and openly. I will miss the cheap food, clothes, and odd things you can find here in Nicaragua that are outrageously priced in the states. You can feed a family of eight here for $11.00 and depending on what you buy, sometimes it is even less! The food here is natural and fresh and I have loved my food experiences here when they haven’t left me sick. I will miss the freshness and availability of the fruits I have come to love. Pitaya, pina, mango, sandia, papaya, naranja, etc. (Pitaya, pineapple, mango, watermelon, papaya, orange, etc.) I will miss our Thursday morning devotionals in which we are able to hear a message from God through one of our fellow CFCI members or featured guest. I will miss pouring my heart out and having great friends to pray for me and that I trust enough with the deepest things on my heart. I will miss our “cafecita and postre” time. God has put each of these special team members into my life for a reason and they each have brought me joy in a unique and different way. I am truly inspired by their courage and faith in God to live as missionaries with total confidence that He will provide for all their needs and wants in this small life we live. I will miss my morning runs and enjoying the sun as it peaks over the horizon and onto the ground I run on. I definitely WON’T miss the small little gifts that dogs so perfectly placed on my path. This “crap” kept me awake and ready to dodge anything else I needed to while running at 5:00 AM in the morning and ready for the rest of the day! This was my morning coffee and helped me to jump start my day! I have so much fun exercising because I know God has given me this special drive and gift of determination to relieve my stress and exert energy where I need to! I will miss Thursdays as my “relax” and “un-wind” day. I take this time to meditate on God and just listen to what He has to tell me. For example, this morning I had devotionals at the office with the group and the big “hefe” of all CFCI and it was a great time! We are his devoted ambassadors of His kingdom and it is great to share the gospel, God’s love, and the story of Jesus Christ with others of this country! I come home, enjoy lunch with the family, and then head to my room for some reading, meditation of songs, or a sermon. I feel relaxed and confident that God has great plans for my life and know His ways are the only ways I want to walk in! I am so encouraged when I think of how far he has brought me and through all the things He has shown me along the way! He is awesome, a worthy, Holy, Graceful, Mighty, and the Majestic God and I am so glad and feel honored to be able to serve and worship His as freely as I am! I will also miss my talks with the drunk, high, hung-over people I have come to love at the bus terminal I talk to daily. I know them by name and enjoy just picking their brain and sharing some of my beliefs. They all know me as the “chele enfermera” and make me laugh almost everyday. I am not scared of them. They are of no harm, but only people God has placed in my life so I can be that light. I may feel insignificant, but I know He has his reasons. Who knows; maybe one will come to know and love Christ. If one of these three to four lives is touched, my heart will be happy! One person at a time, I am trying to make disciples and stewards! I will miss talking in Spanish. As much as I dreaded some days of Spanish filled lingo, I have come to enjoy switching back and forth between Spanish and English on a day to day basis. I know that God has placed this culture change and language deep into my heart back when I traveled to Honduras in 2011. I will always have a love for Latin culture and their language and ways of life. I will miss being called an “evangelical Christiana” which is the “type” of believer of God I am. I like this name; because with it comes a title and a direct conversation starter for those who want to know why I am in Nicaragua. I know that most people in Nicaragua are Catholic, but as a Christian, I am here to sway their beliefs and try to share God’s never-ending love and compassion to these people with whatever He puts on my heart. I thank you all for keeping up to date! I will write soon, because a medical team from Grace Community Church of Greenville South Carolina is coming down on July 19th and they leave the 26th! I am super excited to work with this team, because they were such a blessing to work beside in March, and I am only more excited than I was! They are great people! Praise God that He has touched and put on my heart the things to say and the actions to perform while on this mission! My time is not done, and I am working for Him forever with ALL my heart and soul to bring praise and glory to His throne! I love serving such an almighty powerful God! “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD you God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6. A special friend who was a former CFCI member, Shelby Johnson, shared this verse with me and I am confident it was because God wanted me to know that He is with me! Thank you all for being such encouragers and partnering with me in prayer for my travels and the people who I am interacting with daily. I know He has kept me protected through His spirit and thank you all for your encouraging words and special tokens of love you send my way!

Lets go to Trohilo!

I first want to apologize for the time it has taken me to update you all! I have been very busy lately and catching up on sleep this past week from the team that just came from Charleston South Carolina from Seacoast Church. This group had 11 people and with CFCI Short Team Ministries leaders Joe, Carolina, Moises, and his wife Meyling, and myself there was a total of 16. This number may seem small to some and at first, it was to me as well. I think of mission trips I have taken in the past and I remember 25-30 people sometimes depending on where we were going and how the market was for income. I remember the first mission trip I took out of the country. It was to the Dominican Republic and I was very impacted by the work we did and how God used our group. I remember doing a skit and loving on the kids. There was something about this group from South Carolina and these kids of Trohilo Nicaragua. There was a certain cry that their eyes held. There was a certain smile that just made you want to never let go of the vulnerable child you held in your arms tickling him or her until they would fall out of your lap. There was a certain willingness to play their favorite game countless times (drip, drip, drop, OR gota, gota, bano). I will never forget this community of Trohilo Leon. This was an indigenous group of people and was located on the outskirts of Leon, Nicaragua. Leon was one of the first founded cities in Nicaragua next to Granada and they were both the capitol at one time. The people decided on a meeting point in the middle and that is why Managua is now the capitol. Both Leon and Granada have a very similar style to the houses built when the Spaniards first voyaged over to Central America. It is a beautiful place. Houses have NO separation between the two of them; the walls to houses are all about 5-10 feet higher than a normal North American house. They are sturdy and made of concrete blocks, but painted all different, and bright colors. I love the city of Leon and Granada. Leon is the city with the most Catholic population in ALL of Nicaragua. It is Nicaragua’s home to Catholics. So I am going to take you on a journey. Introduce you to some special people I met over this week and what I learned. You don’t have to buckle up, because you most likely will be in the back of a pick up truck bed and holding on to the side of the truck hoping the next speed bump doesn’t make you lose your balance and fall over board. Get ready! You will get dirty, you may not like what you experience, but you will never forget it! So the CFCI green and white bus pulls up to an Apostolic Church in the City of Leon. Some of the members of the team dismount the bus to use the bathroom located near the back of the church right next to the pigpen. With human feces, urine, and the smell of pigs, you can only imagine how many people attempted to hold their breath and hovered over this modern day toilet for as little time as possible. After meeting the pastor, his wife, and some people who were going to accompany us to this small town twenty minutes away by vehicle, we all piled back on the bus and got ready to see where this trip was intended to take us. As we traveled through the city streets, many people knew we were foreign because some had cameras hanging out the window hoping to catch the perfect photo of the experience they were going through. I have learned that no camera can capture the essence of what you heart ultimately feels and so I have not hauled it around as much hoping to snap a picture here or there because I know that my eyes and memory are perfect examples of blessings The Lord has given me to recall these wonderful moments. While a picture may stop time for that split second it snaps a picture for you to look at it later down the road, the sentimental meaning behind the words spoken before and after that picture and the hugs exchanged after that picture are much more meaningful and worth remembering than a smile stopped to attempt to look presentable during this photo. Back to our voyage; we reach the edge of the city and venture off the main road onto a side gravel road that goes and goes and goes. We get taken by bus down the bumpy gravel road and are peering out the windows like children in a candy store. On both sides of us there are pastures of sugar cane, cows, or every now and then a plastic house with a tin roof or a concrete house with a tin roof appear and nothing could be within 200 yards of it and this is normal. Many people were walking or biking to their next destination. I say many as in the people we did see, not literally “many” people because there were far from that. Twenty minutes later with the country wind blowing through our hair we arrive at a church entrance. From this point we have not yet reached the church itself; just the entrance and our bus driver had to contemplate whether the bus would make it down the drive. In the end, it did and we pulled up to this church. It consisted of 6 posts holding up a covering. The chairs we sit on for the service were plastic chairs used in America mainly for sitting poolside or outside. These chairs are very common in churches here and I believe it is because they are cheap and easily made. Next to our “church” were the walls and spaces left for future windows and doors to the church they intend to finish within this year. When we had church, the two times we had power, we were outside, mosquito bait, and praying rain didn’t fall through the center of the roof and drench us. The people brought their best for us. We had a speaker system that hooked up to one electrical wire with a plug running from the street which was 100 yards away from the church through the trees and maybe a couple of neighbors back yards to make it to the church. But when we didn’t have power, which was usual, we couldn’t blend our fruit juices, couldn’t read by light, and couldn’t use the microphones because there was no way to obtain electricity. We had a welcoming church service the first night we arrived in Trohilo. This service was loud and I think the same verse in Psalms was read at least twice, maybe three times. It was Psalms 133 and I thought it was so strange that these people kept reading about oil running down Aaron’s beard or dew settling on the mountains of Zion. I then realized the passage was about brother’s (of Christ) dwelling together in unity and that is just what we were about to encounter. I didn’t know my roommate, because she came with the group. I knew her name and that was about it. I also noticed that before we were taken to our host family’s house, she didn’t look too excited and I was thinking; “I will have to pep talk and babysit this trip God? Why me? Can’t you send the first timer with someone she actually knows! I will be no help!” Yes people, even missionaries think what you shouldn’t, they just usually don’t voice it until God has his chance to move. And on this trip he moved her and I closer together than I thought possible! I was talking to my host mom and her daughter who lived next door as we waited on the pick up truck to take us to our home because we each had a 3 inch twin mattress to carry, our suitcase, backpacks, and each pair had a 3 gallon bottle of water to share throughout the week. This could be refilled during the week so please don’t think we were deprived of hydrating liquids because we for sure were not! As we arrived at our house the first night, my mom (Christina) showed us our sleeping quarters. Now, we had a big room! In this room about 10 by 12 feet had a twin bed and two tables to keep our suitcases off the floor for the week. I looked at Emily (my roommate) and said, “Well we will get to be close after this week”. I can now say how “spoiled” I feel to live in Managua and how disgustingly spoiled I feel to think about my living quarters in the United States. Emily and I placed our suitcases on their tables and opened them up searching for shampoo, conditioner, body wash, and our change of clothes we planned to sleep in after our shower. We were exhausted from our historical/informational Managua tour before leaving for Leon, traveling all day, and having a 2-hour welcoming church service. People in Nicaragua almost always shower in the morning so when I told my mom we wanted to shower, she asked “Now?” and I replied with “yes, please?” We were lead out to a well with a huge bucket that housed the water they used to shower in. This well did have a pump and we didn’t have to manually lift it with bucket and rope from the hole in the ground like other people did. Our shower was outside, and I mean, we had a pila to place our bathing products on and standing in front of this pila, hope that the moon was shinning bright enough to give us the light we needed to see what we were doing. On night one, we had a flash light, but it ran out of batteries shortly after that first night and I forgot to bring back up batteries. The talks Emily and I had during our showers were pertaining to what she missed and how the poor girl was homesick. I understood her all too well and asked what she missed most and about who she missed and how it is normal, but I reassured her that I am a listening ear ready for anything she wants to say or even if she wants to cry, I would be there for her. This made us so much closer because this lead us to talk about our pasts and who we were, what we have gone through, what we want to become, and the things in our lives that have affected all these things. After we took our bucket showers and kept each other entertained by talking to one another through the rush of freezing cold water running down our naked bodies in the countryside, we were ready to get some sleep! But this of course doesn’t end our first night adventure so quickly. We asked where the bathroom was because we both needed to go. During our trek to the bathroom, I noticed it wouldn’t be so bad because I got to pass this cute little pig every time I needed to go! You may think I am weird, but hey, a cute baby pig made me happy at this point! We of course had to use a latrine. And if you have never experienced this, it’s a hole in the ground, literally a concrete hole in the ground. The latrine is about 100 yards deep and is usually a house to a mountain of cockroaches that sometimes climb the walls or scurry across the toilet seat during the night. Someone told me a trick to getting them to flee when you’re ready to hover over the seat; spraying bug spray into the hole and around the hole. This trick does not work, so I told myself, well, I am going to just have to go pee the whole time here, because if I attempted to sit and something got too close and I could feel it graze my butt, I would be running to the house for my life with my pants on the ground. This latrine was always used by us Americans with the door wide open because for one, we were too tall to close the door, and two because we were both not locking ourselves in the cock roach house with no light. Again, we counted on the moonlight to help us use the bathroom. We had one roll for two of us for four days and it lasted! Emily and I were placed next to two other girls from the team and each night they came over before we settled down before bed to talk and eat fruits that our family knew we liked. They went out of their way to get us fresh mangos, coconut water, and make my favorite fruit juice, pitaya. This fruit is not in season in Nicaragua, but my host mom lives on a farm and the first one of the season bloomed right as we arrived and she picked it off and made it into a fruit juice and had her daughter deliver it to me at the school we worked at during the second day in the community. These families moved out of their normal routines, and cleared their personal space for us Americans to invade for these four days we were hosted. During the first night, I slept great, passed out, and woke up at about 5:00 AM to a crying baby. This baby was Kenneth and was only at our house the first night because his mom (our sister) had to leave on the early 4:00 AM bus to Chinandega to meet with her husband. So our host mom was keeping him for her. I was annoyed and aggravated being woken up an hour early and could not fall back asleep because by 5:00 AM the sun was already up and shining bright. So I laid there and thought how these people live like this from day to day. No fans, no air conditioning, no roof over their kitchen, chickens roaming throughout the house, and no electrical plugs throughout the house to charge cell phones. I was being inconsiderate and selfish with my thinking, due to the disturbance to my peaceful sleep. On day one, we headed over to breakfast and this was a mile and a half walk with our backpacks loaded and ready for the day. We were expected to wear clothes we could get dirty or paint on and I was ready! We headed over to the school after breakfast and team time and two members of the group shared their testimony with the school children and then we showed them how to make redemption necklaces. After this, we played games with the kids and had a blast playing “red light green light”, “Simon says”, and “Leap frog”. We then started cleaning the school of the dirt balls dried on the side or the mountain of dust built up in the windows. We didn’t get to paint on day one but headed over to the church property for lunch at 12. We ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner everyday at the church and it was all food I loved! “Gallo pinto” (rice and beans), plaintains, pollo (chicken), “carne asado” (grilled meat), and a bunch of other things that are typical Nicaraguan meals. From 2:00 to 4:30 we had Vacation Bible School for the kids we invited from the school across the street and the kids who lived around the church. We had three different stations during bible school. One day one, I was translating for the face painting group, there was a guy who was making balloon animals, flowers, and swords for children. There was also a craft section where each day, the craft was something different. Everyday, there were different activities, but we had a general organized theme and pattern on how to rotate throughout each station. On the last day of painting the school I want you to know that not only did we paint walls faster than I have ever seen walls painted, we worked together, intermixed with Nicaraguans working side by side. Usually when you go to a community to help out, the people just sit back and watch Americans do the work. This community was different. They were proactive; they wanted to work along side us even if they couldn’t communicate with us because of the language barrier. It was a great way to practice and set an example of peaceful sustainability. Because during the time we were there, we didn’t finish painting the school, but instead, the Nicaraguans did it themselves! Four other members of the team were up at the church constructing a bench and table during the days while the rest of the team was at the school painting. This bench and table we made to give to the community clinic 100 feet away from the school. I was blown away by the willingness of all team members to be busy and set on getting this project finished. The youngest person on the trip was 18 and the oldest was 28, so it was quite a mixture of people and I enjoyed it very much! I want you meet Laleen. This little boy was a blessing to us at the school on our last workday in Trohilo. He had Down syndrome and was left at home alone during the day because his mom needed to work. He was at the well accompanied by Emily and Glenn who were washing windowpanes. This little boy was noticed by the two group members to be quite a little instigator of bad behavior around the school. The teacher’s must have known him because they called him by name and told him to leave! Emily noticed how dirty he was and the gnats that kept swarming around his head and landed on the sleep coming out of his eyes, so she picked up a rag she was using to clean dusty windowpanes and started washing him. The teacher, who a moment ago was yelling at him to leave, brought Emily a bar of soap and a different rag. This little boy got a bath and ate our teams left over fruit telling me each name of the fruit before I placed it in his mouth during our break we had for our snack. This little boy was a sweet heart and only wanted to be loved. He came up to me while I was on a chair painting a hard to reach window without assistance and just hugged my legs. I helped him button his shirt on and set him on his way back over to help Emily and Glenn at the well because allowing him to stay near wet paint may be a bad idea. During the second day of VBS, I met this family of five children. The oldest girl who was no older than 9 was in charge of all her little siblings; two boys maybe 6 and 4 in age and two twin girls no older than 3. She kept their hair out of their face,, guided them to where they needed to go, and kept the boogers from seeping down their face into their mouth. She was a 9-year-old girl living as a mom. I truly got attached to this family in particular and my heart went out to them! I was blown away by how mature she was at such a young age and probably not by choice. My heart hurt for them. I knew they just needed to be loved and told how precious they are so each and everyday, I looked after them, picked them up, held them, and helped them get to the next station of VBS and hoping they kept coming back! They did, and it was great to say a proper goodbye! I miss the little children who ran into your arms because your skin color was different than theirs and they knew you spoke a different language. You’re probably thinking, why would any child run to you if you’re totally opposite? In my last blog, I wrote about child like faith, and the children of Trohilo were perfect examples of just that. These children were so vulnerable and willing to love on you, if you were willing to open up your arms and allow them to run and jump into them! It was a perfect place to be! I was in heaven! I can seriously picture heaven be running around on streets shouting praises to God and picking up smiling, giggly children and throwing them in the air just to see the smile and hear the laugh that is exerted from their playful mood. To wrap up our week, we had a farewell service and during this service the group shared the Lifehouse skit. If you have never seen this, or been a part of it, please look it up on-line. It is very powerful! By this last night, I had my little niece on my lap at church asking questions and singing so loud that her little squeaky voice was so precious I couldn’t help but just stop and listen. I loved this place! The next day, we spent with our families during the morning. This morning consisted of trying coconut water, riding a horse, picking up the family pig, and getting pictures of all of us together before we departed from Trohilo. I was blissfully taking in every thing I could because I knew pictures wouldn’t do justice. I wanted to spend more time, just getting to know my mom and sisters and nieces that I lived with and near. I wanted to just work on the farm with my mom and help her sell the things she does to make a living. I wanted to just be put into this atmosphere and have to adapt because there was no other way. I just wanted so badly to stay and just take in the quiet countryside and take a break from the busy city (for example, right now, fireworks are being set off, and I have no idea why). We prayed over a guy who had high creatinine levels and then as a group, we collected $15.00 for an injection the doctor prescribed but he couldn’t afford before we arrived. We got to share our lives and stories with the families of Trohilo and hear theirs as well. I will never forget this village with plastic houses and tin walls that loved God with ALL they had. Literally! I think about all the Tervis tumblers we have sitting in the cupboards in the kitchen at home and compare it to the tree branch with the end of baby branches supporting the 8 plastic cups this family had. I am not writing you to guilt trip you about the stuff and clutter you have in your home wherever you are. I am writing to inform you that these people were so content with what little to nothing they had, loved God unconditionally, and were true examples of people who lived off faith because money was scarce and time was all they had. I loved being in this community, because I had time to think, I had time to smile and laugh with the children, and time to relish that God has blessed me with ALL that I have and everything I am in Him. Thank you for taking the ride to Trohilo! Our group got really close and on our free day, we went zip lining and then to the Masaya market to get souvenirs. On our last night, we had a feet washing, uplifting, debriefing session that left us on a good note and remembering the friendships we made. Emily, my roommate, and my twin, I loved her like she was born to be my best friend and I will never forget the impact she made on my life. She started a non-profit organization her freshman year of college at College of Charleston and is currently running it while going to school and is on fire for our Lord Jesus Christ! I encourage you to visit the website; it is awesome what she started! http://www.charlestonhope.com I met other great people who will always have a special place in my heart and especially those of Trohilo. I ask that you pray for this community and that their church and love for God will only flourish and grow! I recently renewed my passport and am getting ready to wrap up my last two and a half months here. This makes me so sad, but I know I am in good hands with God as my guide. I will be going to Costa Rica at the beginning of August and maybe accompanied by my North American mom! The next team I will be working with is the medical team from Grace Community and I cannot wait! They are coming the day after my birthday and I will be in great company! Please pray that God continues to use me daily wherever I am whether it be in the clinic in Managua, out with a team in a community, or even in my house here in Managua! I think of leaving and it makes me sad, but I need your prayers as this time is coming to an end. I am sometimes ready to leave, but other times, I know a piece of my heart will ALWAYS be in Nicaragua. Thanks for your continued prayers and support! See you all soon!

Child like faith

I have recently been watching and observing children quite closely. I have noticed the faith they have in their parents or care takers, the desire to be around those who have helped them grow, and the desire to prove themselves to their loved ones. I have related these findings with recent readings in the bible about us being like little children. I have seen their simple little acts and wonder if everyone acted that way with God, how amazing would our relationship be with Him?! How much more would we trust and be more in tuned with what God wants us to hear rather then us choosing what we want to hear, what we want to do, and how we want to live. There is so much to learn from children that I haven't known until recently that I desire to implement in my own life! This past week as I walked into the house from work, I was walking to my room and Liam (my little nephew) came running up to me with arms wide open and screamed my name. Without much time to react, he jumped into my arms and held onto me and wouldn't let go. I then decided to change my plans about going to my room and shower right away and play with him. Whenever we give this kind of affection to God, and run to Him with arms wide open, wanting to embrace Him and never let go, I think God desires to teach us because our hearts and minds are open and welcoming to His commands. In these times, when I have recently been praying and listening to God's voice, I have found much joy and pleasure in spending time with Him and in His presence. He has just filled me with an abundance of joy and contentment that I couldn't ask for anything more. Whenever I truly surrender my thoughts and my prayers and my requests to Him, I find myself on my knees before Him and these are the most rewarding and truly precious moments I hope to never lose. I know the stillness and in the quiet of the night is when my meditation and times with God are the most intimate because my mind isn't busy with the days plans and ideas running rampant in my mind. I have taken videos of children and hope to make a compilation of the children I have caught on tape and for it to express examples of the trust they put into those who love them and what I am talking about here. Many of you may have children and were in awe when they were little and depended on you for everything; but as a parent, you were blessed with the honor to be the care taker of that child while they are on this earth; God is the ultimate and only father that child will ever truly have. We were made in His image and it is such a blessing to feel the comfort in His arms when we are hurting, broken, and torn down to our last thread. He is there, watching over us, holding us, listening. Some people may think He is absent when we need Him most, but God has a reason for all things he does. At some of the most tragic times, we may think he is ignoring us or we think "why did this happen to me?", or "why does this happen to our family when we have trusted and loved God more than ever?". I have noticed at the most tragic and terrible times in our lives; we cling to Jesus the most. Children, cling to their parents or care takers at all times when young and can't do things for themselves. They desire to be held, played with, and fed and are usually content. I have watched children walk a few steps away from the reach of their parents at the clinic and do something but look back in approval to see if their parent was happy or upset with their choice. We have such a better ability than a child does with this same scenario and the things we do and attaining approval from God because we can talk! We can ask God during our prayers or in our days if the things we are doing are pleasing to Him and bringing Him joy. When we are stuck in a dilemma and not sure what decision to make, why do we hesitate to bring it to God and ask approval from all different people in our lives when in the end, Gods way will override the human heart. It says in Proverbs 16:9 "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." This is such an encouraging, simple verse, and I challenge you to take it and place it somewhere you can read it daily and just think about it; above all else, God is in control. Breathe, relax, you don't have to walk the scary road alone. God is with you. Just lean back against Him and breathe. The song I absolutely love and need in times when I feel alone is the song called "The more I seek you" by Kari Jobe. It says "I want to sit at your feet, drink from the cup in your hands, lay back against you and breathe and feel your heart beat. This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand, I melt in your peace, it's overwhelming." The part where it specifically says drink from the cup in your hand, gives me a picture of a parent giving a drink to their child and their child trusting they will receive the essential things they need to survive from their parents and its who they ask when they are hungry, thirsty, or sleepy. Good parenting will always comfort the needs of their children. I have watched parents neglect and ignore their children as well and it is sad. But people, our God is NOT like that! We have to trust and know that God loves and adores children and we are HIS. I have also seen the imagination that children display when by themselves or in a group of young ones their own age. They come up with AMAZING scenarios and I truly wonder what their images are in their minds because the sound effects and things Liam can do on his own make me astounded. I truly wish I could be in his brain sometimes when he is pretending to be a transformer and blow things up! I wish I had a picture of the images he is imagining and how much more children believe in these supernatural things and just have fun with it! You may think it is creepy that I sit and watch children, but I take it as something God is trying to teach me right now. He is teaching me to trust that I will be fed and clothed each and every day. I will be given food to eat, a place to rest my head at night, and people around me to help grow me. I will be given the necessitates of this life but most of all, He will be leading my steps so I don't totally have to depend on my human flesh and desires because if it was me choosing and guiding my own path, I would be lost and stuck at every "Y" or huge decision in the road. With God, he urges or nudges me toward one way when I am willing to listen. But when I try to make all my own choices and decisions because they feel good at the time, most likely God will pick us back up when we fall, and place us back to where we left off and left Him behind and try to walk with us. If we would just hold His hand when we cross the street, and run and jump into his arms when we are desperate for Him, and just lay back against Him and breathe, how much more satisfying would our relationship be with Him, and how many more people would be in true submission to Him. Think about it; if you literally did some of the scenarios I described above with God, would you feel childish and stupid? At one time in your life, you did ALL these things because we were all children and couldn't feed ourselves, we couldn't clothe ourselves, we couldn't reach the cupboard that holds the cups nor the sink to fill a cup to give us something to drink. I want you imagine with me that God is your parent and you are as helpless as a child but with your choice and thoughts, you go to Him for recognition and ask "God, is what I am about to do going to please you and bring glory to your name?" Think about what Jesus would do if He were in your shoes. It may seem cliche, "What would Jesus do", but its something you need to think about; and it's not just when you need help on a hard decision or when your having trouble in life. It is a daily choice and question you need to present before God. You need to sacrifice your thoughts, your choices, your ways, your burdens to Him and he will comfort you and heal your wounds, your broken heart, or your crushed spirit. Only He has the power to satisfy your every need. I have also recently been listening to the song "You alone can satisfy" by Ross King every single day and it honestly reminds me, as a human I will fall in love with the things He despises when I choose my ways, and only He can satisfy. It says "I have wasted affections on the things you despise, now I long to return to you; you alone can satisfy." It helps remind me that things of this world are only temporary and people, things, objects we obsess will always leave us wanting more, and the only being able to fill that void is God himself. So run, arms outstretched and call His name! Reach up for the glass of water He has in His hands and drink! Look back and ask God if he is in approval of about what your about to do! He answers you if you listen! He hears you when you knock, and if your persistent, He WILL open the door. The main verse I want you to take from this blog post is found in Matthew 18:3-4 where is says "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." We will satisfy God the most when we surrender and humble ourselves and our lives to Him! We will be the GREATEST in the kingdom of heaven! So for once in your life, I am advising you to act like a child, a child needing someone to cling to, a child needing a drink, a child needing to be loved and give all these needs to God himself and He will fill your needs. Please keep in your prayers: the Grace Community Church pastor group is coming into Nicaragua this week and will be training pastors in Matagalpa, my family here, and the Seacaost college team coming on the 20th of this month as we will be staying with an indigenous community in Leon. Thank you all for your continued prayer and support! I miss you all at home!

The HERE and NOW!

Thank you all for keeping up with my blog and my life here in Central America! I couldn’t be where I am at RIGHT this second without all your help through prayers and financial support you have so generously given! This blog is going to be a little different. I am going to break down a single day for you in my eyes…. So hold on; it will be interesting! A normal day goes a little something like this; I roll over as my first alarm goes off at 4:52, stumble out of bed to hit the snooze and bring my ipod back to my bed and lay down again knowing I will have to turn off the alarm again. It goes off again at 4:56, pushing the snooze button once more and waiting for my last wake up alarm to go off at 5:00 and mentally prepare myself for the run ahead. I know that it may seem ironic to set three alarms, but sometimes I am so tired I don’t even remember turning them off! Sometimes I am tempted to set 5! I then run around the school across my street; right in front of my house. When I got here in September my mom and sister would walk me to a park about 10 blocks away, but why waste twenty minutes walking there and back when I can just run safely across the street right in front of my house? I run about 10-12 laps depending on how my knees are feeling and how long it has been since I have run. I listen to songs like Planet shakers and Hillsong that are upbeat and get me excited to start my day and remind me how awesome our God is! One time I caught myself skipping to a song and ALWAYS catch myself singing out loud. It is a great way to get the blood rushing in the morning and I love feeling the cool brisk air on my skin as I run. It is the only time I am allowed to wear shorts in public; so it is quite a relief! I see the sun come up every morning I run, and I am able to see a few buses start their early morning route at around 5:20. I am usually done around 5:30 and then return to my house, let myself in with the key hidden in my secret pocket in my shorts. I then go straight to the fridge, guzzle down some cold water and enter my room and turn my fan on, lay on the cold tile floor with the lights off. I keep my music on and just meditate on what I will do for the rest of the day. I pray to God to bless my day and allow me to impact those he desires me to reach. I also pray for my families (here and at home) and my friends who are doing missions too. I know how hard it is to be away from home and know people who travel away from loved ones for a long period of time always need comforting so I pray that God comforts the souls who have listened to his command. I find this time very relaxing. I also usually do my daily bible reading during this time. I am reading the bible in a year challenge in chronological order and it has been such a blessing! I am in Psalms right now and God has granted me encouragement through the times I need it! I get in the shower right at six and enjoy taking a cold shower after the heat and sweat have left my body. We always have water in the morning, so I enjoy taking a shower at that time. I then get dressed in a pair of scrubs, walk out into the kitchen, make myself either a peanut butter and jelly, scrambled eggs, cut myself some fruit, or have some plain cereal in a bowl (with no milk). I then take what I have to eat, sit out on the back patio in a rocking chair and have a staring contest with our dog spikey and talk with Lucas (our bird). I just think about my time here, my favorite times, my not so favorite times, and the things coming up that will make my schedule a little more interesting. I picture myself packing my backpack for the day at this time as well. Monday’s is a day when I have church planning with the group of us young people who are starting a church here in Managua, so I pack an extra set of clothes and some baby wipes so I can half way clean myself after sitting in the clinic all day sweating. I then finish my breakfast, go back to my room, and lie on my bed in my scrubs directly in front of my fan thanking God again for the opportunity he has given me to be in such a great family and in his perfect plan! I brush my teeth, take my morning meds, put my phone, hand sanitizer, Chap Stick and 2.5 cordobas in my pockets, and head out the door! I wait right in front of my house for the bus; which comes every 15-30 minutes. I usually always get a seat because our bus is rarely packed at the time I get on. I get stared at everyday, but try to make the people see that I am comfortable by showing myself as confident on where I am going. When you show fear, people can see right through it. So I put my confidence in God and know he will protect me wherever I go. This bus route is quite interesting and we pass through some nice parts of the city and I realized that the nice neighborhood never has people just sitting outside their house watching the city start to get busy because these people usually have jobs and make an income sustainable for their living conditions. I then pass some not so nice parts of the city. One example is right in front of a hospital; where there are “Fritangas” (fried food stands) set up right along the hospital wall. I think, “wow, what a convenience, you can eat a fried enchilada after leaving your early morning blood test and seeing that your cholesterol is out the roof already!” I know these foods are off limits for me because I don’t know how they are made and was told when I got here to stay away from foods made on the streets because they are not safe for foreigners. When I get off the bus, I walk down a dirt road and sometimes I see people I have talked to, wave, and keep walking to my destination. Sometimes I have the joy of passing the man with no arms who rides his bike around selling bread all day. He has obviously adjusted his bike so that he does not have to use his arms, but just lean forward on a bar while using his legs to get him going. I then make it to the clinic about ten or five minutes till 8:00. I sit myself on the couch after my thirty to forty minute bus ride and two minute walk to the clinic. I then enter the pharmacy and start taking names of people who want consults and there are always people waiting when I get there. It costs 65 cordobas to see the doctor here. 24.4 cordobas equals one US dollar. You do the math. Cheap! But not to people here whom on average, make $4.00 a day. I then wait for the other professionals to enter the clinic. Sarita; my partner in the pharmacy; the woman in charge of everything at the clinic! She does it all; taking care of paying the laboratories we buy medicines from, the inventory of medicines, and the money we have at all times. She has been working for the doctor for 10 years now. The doctor is obviously at the clinic because it is out of his house. The cook, Nestor is starting our lunch already at 8 and making foods for people who buy stuff while waiting in the waiting room. The dentist and her assistant come in around 8:30 and the other doctor comes in around the same time. The doctor who is in our clinic drawing labs is there by 7:30 everyday. As the day goes on, I usually give a couple injections here and there, get to clean a wound every now and then, sometimes get to do a home visit and see people I have missed or gotten to know well since I have been here. We then have lunch around noon and then I get to rest a little on the couch before we get back to work and push through the rest of the day. I leave the clinic around 4:15 everyday and try to catch the bus that leaves around 8:30. I then get off at a place about 20 minutes away from home and catch a taxi and get them to drive me to the place me are meeting for the new church. We pray and talk about how our day was; usually enjoy a small snack and some bottled water and then get to talking and praying and next week we start evangelizing to get people to come to our church! We will go to neighborhoods and invite people to our new church! I am excited for this to start! Please pray for this process to hurry along! After this meeting I either get a ride home from the pastor and his wife, or get a taxi home with another guy in the group because it is dangerous for a girl to travel alone. I then get home, check to see if we have water and usually we don’t so then I grab a bucket from the back patio, fill it up with the water we have sitting in a large trash can and lug it to my bathroom. I then take a bucket shower, get on my computer, and check my e-mails from hospitals, CFCI, or anyone else who decides to write. I sometimes talk to my parents or friends via facetime or skype. I update my facebook if anything that day has stood out to me or snap a picture to put up on instagram. I then eat my dinner. Usually alone because the family here eats in their rooms. I would prefer to eat in the kitchen; one less way of attracting animals or insects into my room. My favorite meal is gallo pinto, tajadas, and sweet tea. This is very common here too, so I am in luck. I then enter my room; either watch a movie on my computer, a sermon, or read a book until 9:30 or 10 rolls around. I then journal about my activities in the day and talk to God the rest of the time before I fall asleep. I get up the next day to do it all again! Some things obviously change, but not much! I have been so thankful to meet the people I have since I have been here and make the connections I have. I was recently shaken by something God chose to show me while reading my bible at night. In James 4:13-14 it says ““Now listen, you who say “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is you life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.””(italics mine) I realized, God is so right! We are here in the moment and I need to focus more on the HERE and NOW instead of what I WANT to do in the future! He holds my life! He knows my desires and hears my dreams! He knows exactly where I desire to be and what I want to make of my life. If ANY of that is in HIS plan, it WILL happen. I just need to take one day at a time. Pray for the people in my current life. Pray for the prostitutes that try to flag down cars to make money for their children, the children who spend all day in the hot sun begging for money on the busiest highways and streets, or the people who live in a house the size of my bedroom here. I need to thank God and be so submissive to Him and His voice that nothing else matters but doing His work. I then went back to read James 4: 7-8 where it says “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you, Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify you hearts, you double-minded.” I submit my life to Him. I have trusted Him since I have been here to guide me in the exact manner He desires for my life and thus far, I have had no obligations or second thoughts about the things He has taught me. I am not learning more about ME here, I am learning about HIM. His precious love for his children and his comfort he always offers when we succumb to his desires and his will. I have found myself in tears many nights just thanking him for my time, but also in tears many times needing his loving arms to guard me and protect me and just wrap around me to hold me from the loneliness I sometimes feel. I hope that this encourages you all to just submit your lives to God! He knows what He is doing! Trust me, I have been living in HIS plan an not my own for about 8 months now and I know He is a much better person to be in control of my flesh and human desires. I will admit, it is and has been hard, but I wouldn’t change anything from these 8 months. I have been places I would never have gone if I would be living the way I WANT to live. I have met people who are inspiring and have changed my life by the way they live their lives. I have also seen some pretty amazing things happen through God. He has moved me and made me realize that I have to succumb to Him if I want to see change. I can’t change my heart, I can only decide to listen and be lead by Him and watch Him work miracles in my life. He has done so! I truly believe He has saved me from a road I would hate to be on right now! I have swerved off the road a dozen times in my past and will continue to do so because I am human and have a flesh that desires things God doesn’t. I am assured though when I think about God and his amazing and saving grace. I am so in love with Him right now and have never been more amazed at His goodness and love towards me! I am getting close to ending my time here, but these last three and half months will be my best yet! I have no doubt! With God anything is possible! God bless you all! Stay tuned for more updates! Miss you all! See you soon! Prayer requests: I will be able to make another trip to Costa Rica again before I leave (God has opened doors and I believe my future will be living as a missionary and maybe in Costa Rica) Please also pray for the church we are starting to bring in true, real, broken people to God to lead home! Pray for my family here! And praise God I have had no more health problems! Thanks!

Month 7 video and update!

March Happenings!

This past month has been so fun filled and entertaining and has gone by EXTREMELY fast. There have been some huge changes and happenings lately here at CFCI Nicaragua. First and foremost, my friend Kate Maccarone came to visit me for a week. She got here March 8th, and we had a great time exploring and viewing the beautiful country of Nicaragua. We visited the tourists’ attractions of course, with my wonderful host family as guides. We went to Granada, and Catarina and the Masaya Volcano. She really enjoyed her time here and it was great to catch up and to be able to share my experience and what I do daily with someone so special to me. I miss her so much but it was great. I think we watched a totally of four movies while she was here. We were in no way bored, but it was her spring break from school and we wanted to relax. I took her to work with me for a day and it was great to have here there! The clinic was not as busy as it usually is on Mondays, but she got a little taste of what I do. The next thing that happened was another medical brigade from South Carolina came down and the CFCI staff and the team ventured to Matagalpa. It is about a 2.5-hour drive from Managua into the northeastern part of the country about 4,300 feet above sea level. It was very chilly at night and very relaxing and quiet where we stayed. We stayed at a hotel named “Selva Negra”, which means black forest in English. It is owned by Germans, so the food was prepared and usually not the typical Nicaraguan food. It was very nice to be able to work with a team that got along and mixed so well. We had three different generations there and we all got along so well. Usually at the end of a week mission trip as many of you know, there tend to be little cliques formed and this group had none! I could talk to someone 62 years old and then turn around and talk to someone who is in their mid 40’s and enjoy my conversation just as much with both people! It was awesome to see God move in people’s lives. I saw miracles happen. 40 people accepted God as their Lord and Savior, one man said he wants to move to Nicaragua and that he has known in for a while, he just needs to act, and I saw patients (like as a doctor). These were all things that I remember clearly from the brigade. I saw about 60-70 patients during the compilation of these four days and each day was a totally different experience. Some of the days I did not feel great, but I knew I had to keep going and push through, because these people have never had an American team visit and needed this blessing more than I needed to lay down and rest. This pain I had was causing me to lean over because it was one of the only comfortable positions that allowed me to feel a little better. I saw a number of patients who needed the typical Ibuprofen or Acetaminophen for pain that they get regularly down here because they live in this dreadful heat and do not drink enough water. It is very common here for the locals to get headaches or back aches and overall body aches because they do not drink even the equivalent to one bottle of water. But I also got to see some patients who needed just someone to listen to them and others who needed some cool things like warts or moles removed. If you know me well, I am into things like that and getting the self-satisfaction of taking away things that people think are ugly; my prime example and ultimate favorite is popping pimples. I know it may seem gross, but it is something I like doing. I also got to inject a muscle relaxant into a ladies knee. She was having joint pain and Dr. Kyle (orthopedic) helped guide me to where to inject this medicine and it was a great experience. This team brought down 19 people. Two doctors, two physical therapists, a PA, guys for construction, people to work in the pharmacy, people to work triage, and people to play with the kids. Usually with a team that size, you have a great effect on the community you are outreaching to. We saw 40 people accept Jesus, which is awesome! This country has a huge Catholic influence and it is hard to sway their views. I was able to pray for each of my patients individually and it was a blessing to be able to pray in Spanish with each person. Some would look at me and give me a huge embrace before leaving the consult area and others would shake my hand and thanking me for all I did. I was in awe of the kindness of people and their willingness to open up to me as their doctor. This was a great team and I had the pleasure of getting to know everyone on a deep level! I have even looked into Greenville (the town in South Carolina) as a place to possibly live in the future. A lot of people said they would house me until I get on my feet. I am definitely considering it! Praise God for people who are willing to be so kind and courteous! I am having the time of my life down here and I wouldn’t change it for anything! Traveling and getting to serve the people of this beautiful country is what I absolutely love! Another huge thing happened this past month. Shelby; the other missionary and my beloved friend left to go back home to Minnesota where it is cold and so I am once again solo ☹ Many people were blessed by her abilities and gifts she used while she was down here and it was great to work along side her and see her gifts reach the hearts and souls of Nicaraguans and the people she shared them with. She was so happy and such a joy to be around all the time and it was great having her here with me to share my stories with and to hear her progress as a person and in her work here as well. I loved how she was so devoted and a “go getter”. She felt bored on some afternoons so she made it appoint to look into working with another organization and made her mark there as well! It was an awesome person to be with for the past two and a half months. She is already greatly missed here! I hope she is not freezing in the snow in Minnesota! I hear it is quite cold up in the states for this time of year. Well, you’re lucky, I would trade a week of snow for a day of this heat. Trust me people, you have it good! As many of you may know already or heard through the grape vine, that I became sick or have been sick for a little while and just went to get tested and found that I have something that many people get doing missions or traveling. I am on medications for a certain intestinal worm, but still 100% unsure of what one I have, and who knows, maybe I will never bee 100% sure. I have had God guide the steps of people into my life to specifically help me and advise me on what they think should work best with past job experiences and things they have researched for many years. I have also come to realize and have known for a while that some of the most vulnerable people are those who are sick. Sick people with terminal illnesses, sick people with chronic reoccurrences, and sick people with unbearable pain are the most vulnerable. I think I would place myself into the last category. Sometimes this pain required me to stop all activity and just sit and rest and just wait until the pain went away. I have told my mom that if it keeps happening, I am coming home soon. I was determined that I would come home and leave because it was so bad. I know this attack is from the devil and it is a spiritual attack. The devil knows what I am up to for God and he is mad. The devil is angry and wants to pull me back down to where I once was. But too bad, the devil needs to face it and know that I will NEVER turn back or be the person I once was because those times are forgotten and forgiven by the gracious and loving king I call my father and Lord of my life! He is my creator, my life, my soul, and my reason! Nothing else matters with out him because I would not be matter with out him ;) This week I am not at work once again and I feel bad, I feel like I have skipped this whole month at the clinic. This week in Nicaragua is “Semana Santa” which means holy week in English. It is about that time of year for Easter to roll around and I am going to miss hunting in my house for an Easter basket ☹ (maybe I am a little too old for that) But I like living as a kid every once in a while. I have had many special people on the CFCI team step up to bat for me while being sick; taking me under their wing, bringing me to their house to stay, bringing me to their house to enjoy some games and a meal. I love the team I am here with and it is such a cool thing to have Christian friends and be able to share the same beliefs and hang out! It truly changes your desires and your perspective on life when you are continually filled with people who uplift you rather than try to derange your thoughts and pollute them with bad things. I am so blessed to be a part of this team! It is an answer to my prayers! Thank you all for keeping me in your prayers! Specific prayer requests I have for this upcoming month and next couple weeks: Please pray that this sickness is eradicated and the tests are negative when I get re-checked for the intestinal worm I have. Please pray that as I start to look for job opportunities at home that doors are opened and so is my heart to new possibilities. Please pray for these last 5 months to be the most impactful and that God continues to use me as much as he can! I am so honored to be a follower of Christ and love every second of it. Without the help of all my financial support and continued prayers, I would not be sitting here in the heat sweating and writing this blog post! Keep the prayers coming! I am on this wonderful journey and only want you to feel like your by my side! Enjoy! Thanks for reading!