I will miss....

I have decided to bring to all you faithful readers about what God has taught me since I have been here through those things, which I will miss. You may think this is soon considering I have roughly two months here, but it has been so strong on my heart and in my head that I feel compelled to write it. I thank you all for supporting me through this time and keeping me in your prayers. I have felt protected by the power of the Holy Spirit ever since I arrived and believe it is because He obviously lives in me, but because my church body and friends believed in me and showed that through prayer and words of encouragement since I have been here. But let me start with simple and bring you to complex with those things that I will miss. I will miss walking down the dirt rock covered road to work every day and seeing odd ends of children’s toys, crushed mango seeds covered in dirt, and children standing outside in their diapers and tennis shoes waving to me. God has taught me that Nicaraguans spend TIME enjoying what they have. They spend TIME with those they love, and this is why many families (cousins, grandparents, uncles, and aunts) all live within walking distance of one another and visit one another daily. What a great image of family and love these people have displayed for me. I live with one family here, but My Nica grandmother lives one block away and my Nica aunt lives about five houses down from her. I work at the clinic with Dr. Bayardo and his mother lives right across the street. This is so typical and normal here; I wish it would be something practiced in the states. I feel like providing for ourselves and our immediate family has taken over importance of many lives and minds that extended family is nice to see every once in a while or whenever money allows to travel to visit. I have been praying that God can adjust my heart and my mind to easily walk back into the states and be comfortable with how I used to live before Nicaragua and that the adjustment to being back will be smooth and without losing too many tears. I will miss the church services where it doesn’t matter when your clapping or how off key your singing voice is because people are just giving their all and everything to praise our Worthy King. In the states I feel like if your clapping off beat in church, you’re an annoyance or looked at as ignorant to the beauty of music and how it “should be”. God created music and the beauty of it is that He gave us all different ways of how to worship Him and what we all feel as appropriate is acceptable and appreciated in His eyes. I will miss praying over patients in the clinic and being able to proclaim my faith to them. In the states, you are not able to open up about your religion unless asked while working in the hospital. I think pretty soon any external expression of faith in God will be pushed away and the government is currently trying to ban it in many areas where it once was normality. I will miss my little nephew coming in my room to say “Hola Melissa. Que estas haciendo?” This means Hello Melissa. What are you doing? I always welcome his presence and love his inquiring questions and answer him with the simple truth. Some of you may have experienced this over Skype or Face Time. The simplicity of a child’s faith and inquiring is what I desire to be like with God and just ask him simply, “God, what are you doing in my life? What will happen next? Why is this person in my life?” and simply wait and listen to his response. I believe God wants us to be like children and just ask him, but also be willing to listen. God desires this kind of relationship with all his children and I alluded to this in a past blog. I will miss seeing the little eyes of a young boy who can barely see over the ledge of the pharmacy to ask for medicine for his grandmother at home. His mouth is covered and so his voice is barely audible, but he comes weekly, so I know what he is asking for. His eyes immediately melt my heart and this is common with children of Nicaragua. Their eyes literally tell their story. I could look at one child and see the delight and the pain all in one instant gazing into their eyes. Some stories have been told to me and others I have witnessed first hand. Some children are left to take care of other siblings because the parents have neglected them or left them to work and look to provide whatever food they can find to feed their family. Some children don’t even get the opportunity to go to school because the parents force them to work on the streets and beg for money outside of cars at busy intersections. God has taught me that no matter what the circumstances or reasons are behind these children having stories like these, that each one is precious in His eyes and deserves to be loved unconditionally. I have felt privileged to show my love to these kids and picking them up and holding them and playing with them whenever I get the chance. My favorite thing is when they first inspect me and check me out with their timid eyes because they haven’t seen anyone with my color hair or my light complexion before. They then see my smile and my hand waving assuring them I want to play or just sit and watch and then they lighten up and are a huge bundle of joy willing to accept the love I desire to give. I will miss hearing the hustle and bustle of the city life right outside my house. I live in the “country side “where I come from in Florida and have to drive ten minutes into town to get any kind of “city” interaction. Immediately out my front door of my Nica house is the street busy and filled with people walking their children to school, going to work, taxi’s looking for work. It may seem overwhelming and busy, but I love it! God has taught me that cultures are different and has allowed me to understand and accept this as a different lifestyle and embrace it for what its worth. I have also enjoyed my visits to places like I recently went where town was only within reach on a twenty-minute car ride and the quietness of the countryside as the town goes to sleep at night. I am reassured I still have my country roots within me as I enjoy the simplicity of crickets and geckos filling up the night with their chirps and enjoying the rooster that crows at five o’clock in the morning to wake me up. This happened for one week of my trip, but I loved every second. I will miss my lunchtime meal at the clinic and having conversations with those co-workers I have come to love and have developed relationships with that will forever be close to my heart. I never thought the people at the clinic liked me, but it took me a while to approach them and get to know them before they opened up and talked to me like friends. The Nica people accept “gringos” (white people), but also inspect us and question our motives. I am sure my coworkers were wondering what on the earth I was doing in this clinic and why I would volunteer a year of my life for this clinic when the salary made by an RN in the states doubles and sometimes triples that of a doctor’s in Nicaragua. I will miss being able to exercise at my house on the back porch in the coolness of night. There is a breeze that cools my body down from the intense and strenuous exercise I put myself through. I love being able to do exercises in the comfort of my home because in the states it is almost impossible unless you have money to buy a room and fill with machines or things simply dedicated to fitness. But one of the things I have loved most about Nicaragua is the time spent at home and in the presence of your family. I will miss riding the bus to and from work. I got stared at everyday like a stranger but I enjoyed being looked at because God taught me that through these stares and glares, it brought some people to ask questions and then I was able to share my faith. At first, I didn’t want any interaction on the bus because everyone I work with made it seem like everyone who steps foot onto a bus gets robbed. I have had scares here and there, but I know God has sent his guardian angles to protect and watch over me while I am here because I am in His perfect will and listened to His voice. Of course, it has crossed my mind to ride the county busses at home and I still might give it a try, just to save gas money and compare it to the busses here. I am a very observant person and would love to see the similarities or differences of the city bus at home and compare and contrast it with the one here. God has opened my mind up to experimentation and allowed me to express my love for him more freely and openly. I will miss the cheap food, clothes, and odd things you can find here in Nicaragua that are outrageously priced in the states. You can feed a family of eight here for $11.00 and depending on what you buy, sometimes it is even less! The food here is natural and fresh and I have loved my food experiences here when they haven’t left me sick. I will miss the freshness and availability of the fruits I have come to love. Pitaya, pina, mango, sandia, papaya, naranja, etc. (Pitaya, pineapple, mango, watermelon, papaya, orange, etc.) I will miss our Thursday morning devotionals in which we are able to hear a message from God through one of our fellow CFCI members or featured guest. I will miss pouring my heart out and having great friends to pray for me and that I trust enough with the deepest things on my heart. I will miss our “cafecita and postre” time. God has put each of these special team members into my life for a reason and they each have brought me joy in a unique and different way. I am truly inspired by their courage and faith in God to live as missionaries with total confidence that He will provide for all their needs and wants in this small life we live. I will miss my morning runs and enjoying the sun as it peaks over the horizon and onto the ground I run on. I definitely WON’T miss the small little gifts that dogs so perfectly placed on my path. This “crap” kept me awake and ready to dodge anything else I needed to while running at 5:00 AM in the morning and ready for the rest of the day! This was my morning coffee and helped me to jump start my day! I have so much fun exercising because I know God has given me this special drive and gift of determination to relieve my stress and exert energy where I need to! I will miss Thursdays as my “relax” and “un-wind” day. I take this time to meditate on God and just listen to what He has to tell me. For example, this morning I had devotionals at the office with the group and the big “hefe” of all CFCI and it was a great time! We are his devoted ambassadors of His kingdom and it is great to share the gospel, God’s love, and the story of Jesus Christ with others of this country! I come home, enjoy lunch with the family, and then head to my room for some reading, meditation of songs, or a sermon. I feel relaxed and confident that God has great plans for my life and know His ways are the only ways I want to walk in! I am so encouraged when I think of how far he has brought me and through all the things He has shown me along the way! He is awesome, a worthy, Holy, Graceful, Mighty, and the Majestic God and I am so glad and feel honored to be able to serve and worship His as freely as I am! I will also miss my talks with the drunk, high, hung-over people I have come to love at the bus terminal I talk to daily. I know them by name and enjoy just picking their brain and sharing some of my beliefs. They all know me as the “chele enfermera” and make me laugh almost everyday. I am not scared of them. They are of no harm, but only people God has placed in my life so I can be that light. I may feel insignificant, but I know He has his reasons. Who knows; maybe one will come to know and love Christ. If one of these three to four lives is touched, my heart will be happy! One person at a time, I am trying to make disciples and stewards! I will miss talking in Spanish. As much as I dreaded some days of Spanish filled lingo, I have come to enjoy switching back and forth between Spanish and English on a day to day basis. I know that God has placed this culture change and language deep into my heart back when I traveled to Honduras in 2011. I will always have a love for Latin culture and their language and ways of life. I will miss being called an “evangelical Christiana” which is the “type” of believer of God I am. I like this name; because with it comes a title and a direct conversation starter for those who want to know why I am in Nicaragua. I know that most people in Nicaragua are Catholic, but as a Christian, I am here to sway their beliefs and try to share God’s never-ending love and compassion to these people with whatever He puts on my heart. I thank you all for keeping up to date! I will write soon, because a medical team from Grace Community Church of Greenville South Carolina is coming down on July 19th and they leave the 26th! I am super excited to work with this team, because they were such a blessing to work beside in March, and I am only more excited than I was! They are great people! Praise God that He has touched and put on my heart the things to say and the actions to perform while on this mission! My time is not done, and I am working for Him forever with ALL my heart and soul to bring praise and glory to His throne! I love serving such an almighty powerful God! “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD you God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6. A special friend who was a former CFCI member, Shelby Johnson, shared this verse with me and I am confident it was because God wanted me to know that He is with me! Thank you all for being such encouragers and partnering with me in prayer for my travels and the people who I am interacting with daily. I know He has kept me protected through His spirit and thank you all for your encouraging words and special tokens of love you send my way!